Ok...so clearly blogging is not my strong point considering my last post was in February. Cut my some slack, this is my first time blogging! In case you were wondering I did finish my 30 day challenge though, regardless of that being three months ago.. And it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I've got to say I am quite proud of myself, I normally have a very hard time sticking to challenges, especially if they last more than a few days. Although I don't think my yoga improved significantly, I feel like my mindset did, and that's really what yoga is all about.
Through thick and thin I pushed myself to do yoga for at least a few minutes regardless of how I was feeling. Somehow even on my sickest days I managed to do a mini 15 min session. I think that's why I feel so accomplished, I was so determined to last 30 days that this was the first thing I completed on my own without anyone pushing me but myself. So, sorry it took me so long to write about it! It really was a big deal, I just got busy (and had a bit of writer's block) that I kept pushing this post off, and also I am queen at procrastinating.
Today I want to focus my writing on finding your own "thing". Although I may not be super great at yoga yet, it is my thing. It makes me happy, and it makes me happy with myself and that's what is important about whatever your thing is. I noticed that without yoga there is a part of me that is missing. I'm not as happy or appreciative as I am when I am regularly practicing. After I completed my 30 day challenge I cheated myself again. Once the challenge was done I guess my mind thought it was done with yoga for a while. Boy was that a mistake. As much as my body would crave it my mind would talk myself out of doing it because I was too lazy and wasn't in the mood. That started to take a toll on my overall character. I wasn't as nice or forgiving because I continued to carry stress and negative vibes and didn't give myself a chance to cleanse out those toxins. My depression and anxiety started to come back and I didn't know how to handle it. I started fights over scenarios I made up in my head with my loved ones while they had no idea what was even wrong. Yoga relaxes me, it's my antidepressant, without it I do not show the me I know I am in my core.
Not only did I crave yoga to detox from everyday stress, but I also started to lose the improvements I'd already made. For example, I just came inside from doing yoga for about an hour outside, and holy crap do I see a difference. This is why yoga is called a practice, you have to continuously work on it. Much like working out, if you don't go to the gym for a few weeks you've already started to get out of shape and it's much harder your first time back. However; I do feel so much better that I got to practice and enjoy the sunshine. Just this one practice has already relieved so much stress and started to crack at my hard outer shell to slowly let my inner, happier, self out. I think I was too focused on finishing the 30 days that I forgot to continue after the challenge was over. If I don't make it everyday that is ok, but I can't continue to go weeks without it. I feel like I am a better person when I do it daily because each practice teaches me to love myself, and when I do that I have so much more love for others and my surroundings. This is the type of "thing" I want everyone to find for themselves. One that lets you express yourself and be the cheerful person you are.
It's time to be better. I want to make a note that I will again challenge myself to do yoga every damn day. There will be no deadline, no dates, and no forcing myself simply to prove to myself that I can finish a challenge. No. This is about relieving myself from the negativity. This is about chipping my outer shell and finding who I am on the inside as Rachel Brathen says, and sharing that personality with everyone. I'm not perfect, and there will be days I miss, but it will be worth it to change my mindset and my attitude. Positive vibes only. I want to share my happiness with everyone. I want to inspire. I want to change my outlook on life to back when I first started really getting into my passion of yoga.
So here's to new beginnings. (Again.) It starts today. After today's session I already am enjoying little things like how green the mountains are, the sunshine, and the birds singing in the trees. I'm more observant and more grateful to be in such a beautiful place with so many loved ones surrounding me. I didn't change completely after just one time of practicing after so long. But it's a start, and it changed me today. I have to learn to take each thing one day at a time, and that's where my permanent results will come from. I will do my best every day and I challenge you to as well. Every day is a blessing, so be grateful. You are loved, you are enough.
Namaste
